First of all, welcome to my time of year! I know how excited you must be that my influence is at its peak now. I know I am! I provide the season with a sense of dignity and peace.
With the understanding that you are on vacation and with sincere apologies for the interruption, I am writing to complain about a story I heard involving me. An athiest group decided to put up a banner that said "Keep Saturn in Saturnalia!" in response to a New Jersey town's "Keep Christ in Christmas!" banner. And then some idiot decided to try to burn down the sign that was dedicated to me!
If I was Neptune I would probably say "WHAT THE HELL...?" But since I'm not him...or her...I'll just say I am saddened that some group who believes in no higher power anyway decided to throw me into this fight without even warning me first. That was undignified to say the least, and downright impolite. There was no need for that.
There are so many things wrong with this picture. I thought that people on earth were supposed to be nicer at this time of year. I guess not.
Do you know how many years it has been since people celebrated Saturnalia? A heck of a long time. It was pretty good when it went on...I think it was nice. But you know, times change and the world moves on. They don't need to bring it back.
I don't want to be a pawn in some stupid fight over a banner...well, technically about two banners. Can't everyone just...what's the phrase you prefer? "Get over themselves"?
People are powerful. They have choices and control. Why let a banner upset you? If you don't like what the town is doing, then don't go down there or spend your money there. If you are that offended, move out. (Did anyone tell them that many pagans worship me? Are you really sure an athiest group should be invoking a Roman god? Kind of odd, wouldn't you agree?)
By the same token, the Saturnalia banner should get the same respect as the other one. No one has tried to burn that one down, right? At least not yet. But some misguided soul couldn't stand their beliefs being mocked by an old Roman holiday? Really? All it takes is a joke for your faith to feel threatened? Sounds like someone needs to examine their own beliefs a little harder. The same rules apply for these people. If you don't like it, don't look. And put down the accelerant and matches before you hurt yourself!
Of course, I didn't take it personally. It would have been the same as if someone who knew Neptune rules music to say "Keep the 'tune' in Neptune!", or even "Keep the 'us' in Venus!" to push the value of relationships. Am I sounding stupid now? Yup. And that is the point.
Anyway, I am so sorry for interrupting your vacation. Enjoy my season...and if you are feeling frisky, a dance for Saturnalia would make me happy.
Very truly yours,